The Happiness Habit

I've spent several New Year's Days sitting on the floor surrounded by stacks of magazines, piles of pictures, and assorted glue sticks. No, I haven't regressed to kindergarten. Every year I make a "treasure map": I cut out images that remind me of how I want to live in the coming year, make a collage on poster board, and then display the map where I can see it daily.

Treasure mapping is a wonderful tradition that can help you make your dreams come true. The first time I made a map with friends, one of them pointed out that it looked like a tribute to Mother Teresa: lots of images of helping others, but virtually no images of relaxation and fun. It was great feedback—and I made an immediate adjustment to my workaholic tendencies.

Whether it's a onetime event to celebrate a rite of passage or a monthly gathering where your friends meet in a circle and speak from the heart, rituals can help you live a more fulfilling life. They can even expand your sense of time—lifting you out of the mad rush of errands and demands and setting you down in a seemingly endless moment of deep connection to your loved ones. You can draw on those special experiences for strength, wisdom, and good feelings whenever you're in need. This year, improve your life by creating a few simple traditions that honor your heart and help you connect with people you care about. Here are five to inspire you.

Team up for chores

In early America, barn raisings were feats of incredible productivity but also wonderful social occasions. Sue Merriman, 54, a landscape designer and full-time mom, has given the idea a modern twist. Every Wednesday she gets together with her friend Devra Laner, 47; sometimes another friend joins them.

The women alternate houses, and the host picks a task that's time-consuming, difficult to pull off alone, or just no fun—and therefore never gets done. Any project is allowed, although as Sue says, "At first, nobody thinks they can invite friends over to clean the grease out from under the stove."

The women have done a lot of cleaning, organizing, and gardening in the past three years, but the work's been companionable instead of onerous—full of laughter and talk. "We wanted to be able to see each other and we had to get things done," Sue says. "So we decided to do both."

Hold a swap meet

At the end of every winter, Laura Gilbert, 30, and several friends do an annual closet purge. But before taking the castoffs to charity, they make them an excuse for a party. One by one, the closet gleanings are inspected and tried on by the women, who range from a size 2 to a 12.

"You see four different bodies in the same dress, and you realize, wow, stuff doesn't always look best on the one who's the skinniest," Laura says. "You start to appreciate what does look good on you instead of beating yourself up because something doesn't."

And it's like having a roomful of personal shoppers. "There's a piece of clothing you'd never look at twice, but your friends say, 'No, you must try it on'—and when you do, bam! It's wonderful."

Have a dinner exchange

When Suzanne Beyer's children were in grade school, life was a perpetual sprint. One day, she and neighbor Karen Johns came up with a solution: "We thought, Why not exchange dinners once a week? That way, we'd each have one night when we could get caught up and be served dinner in gourmet fashion."

So Suzanne and Karen would check their schedules for the day most jam-packed with sports practices and music lessons; that evening, a meal would arrive from across the street. "We never told each other what we were preparing—it was always a surprise," says Suzanne, now 62. "It didn't take any extra money or effort, and it gave us each an hour and a half extra that day. We both loved it, but I got the better end of the deal—she's a fantastic cook."

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