Grieving process: Is crying required?

Q: My 34-year-old son died last year after a three-year bout with cancer. I miss him terribly, but I haven't cried about his death. Is this normal?

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Grief is a universal human experience. Your response to grief may be highly individual, however. Crying is an important part of the grieving process for many people, but a lack of tears doesn't necessarily indicate that the grieving process has gone awry.

Many factors affect the grieving process, including:

• The nature of the relationship with the person who died
• The quality of the relationship
• The time you had to prepare for the loss
• Your own personality

It's OK if you don't feel like crying. You may simply need time and space to grieve your son's death in your own way. It's important to make sure that you're dealing with your feelings appropriately, however.

If you're isolating yourself, you're having trouble completing your usual daily activities or you feel like crying but can't, consider seeking the help of a grief counselor or other mental health provider. A counselor may suggest various behavior therapies to help you re-establish a sense of control and direction in your life. You may find comfort through a support group as well. In a few cases, short-term use of antidepressants or other medications may be warranted.

The grieving process commands respect and requires time. However, unresolved grief can lead to depression and other mental health problems. If you're concerned about reaching a healthy resolution to your grief, seek the professional help you deserve.