Alzheimer's: Dealing with family conflict

When a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, the effects on the family can be overwhelming. The reality that someone you love has such a devastating illness can trigger a range of emotions — including fear, sadness, confusion and anger. Conflicts are common as family members struggle to deal with the situation.

To minimize these conflicts, address the issues together.

• Share responsibility. Consider each family member's preferences, resources and abilities. Some family members may provide hands-on care. Others may be more comfortable with respite care, household chores or errands. Others may be better suited for handling financial or legal issues.
• Meet regularly. Plan face to face family meetings or regular conference calls. Discuss each person's caregiving responsibilities and challenges — and make changes as needed. If your family meetings tend to turn into arguments, consider asking a spiritual leader, professional counselor or family attorney to moderate.
• Be honest. Talking about your feelings in an open, constructive manner can help defuse tension. If you're overwhelmed by your caregiving duties, ask for help.
• Don't criticize. There are many "right" ways to provide care. Respect each caregiver's abilities, style and values. Be especially supportive of family members responsible for daily, hands-on care.

Alzheimer's disease creates major stress in families. Work through conflicts together so that you can move on to more important things — caring for your loved one and enjoying your time together as much as possible.