Motivation Doldrums

Q. Every day I dream about being smaller and healthier. I’m 38 years old, 5'2", weigh 185 pounds and I’ve been overweight all my life. I quit smoking recently, but I eat to satisfy my cigarette cravings and so I’ve gained 10 pounds since then. Most every morning I tell myself, "Today is the day I will change." But I then eat unhealthy foods without thinking. I can’t seem to get motivated and have an excuse for everything. My house is too small so I can’t exercise indoors. I'm on a tight budget so I can’t afford a gym.  How do I find the "thing" to get me motivated?  I used "the kids" to stop smoking but no matter what I tell myself it doesn't inspire me enough to stop eating and lose weight.  I need help.

A. You’re in a rut that many people can relate to: You have a lot of weight to lose and a history of unsuccessful attempts to lose it. Living a healthier lifestyle and becoming thinner and fitter can seem truly impossible when you’ve tried and failed, and if you only see obstacles at every turn.

But you quit smoking! So you have proven that you can take control over your health.

Losing weight can be harder because you just can’t just give up food cold turkey—you have to eat to live and, for some people, learning to modify a behavior is harder than simply stopping it all together. That’s one reason why fad diets hold such appeal: You follow a strict all-or-nothing plan that takes away your decision making. While it can work for a while, you don’t necessarily learn to cope with the real-life choices you must make once you inevitably return to regular life.

Today’s environment is filled with the temptation to eat and the ability to limit physical activity at every moment in your day. So you may have to really struggle to find the self-discipline to overcome all the barriers you see.

Like millions of people, you may not be able to do it alone. And that’s OK. You just have to think strategically and figure out what will set you on the right—and easiest—path to success.

Look at this process as a lifetime thing, not a quick fix. You want to find ways to be healthier and happier forever. The weight will come off once you figure out how to move and enjoy it, and how to find more nutritious foods delicious. It may take one or two years to get to where you want to be. That’s OK. For now, your only job is to figure out how to get started.

Find ways to finance a fitter life

What’s most important right now is to find out what inspires you—and that may mean spending money in this early stage. There are certainly lots of ways to eat better and exercise more on a budget, but if you can gather up some funds to finance launching yourself on a new, healthier life, the cost is probably worth it.

• Ask your doctor if your medical status qualifies you for any nutrition or physical therapy counseling as a preventative or treatment measure for obesity or related illness such as insulin resistance, joint problems, or cholesterol or high blood pressure issues.
• Find out if your insurance covers psychological counseling. A therapist may be able to help you understand why you overeat and give you ways to manage your emotions and other behaviors better. If you don’t have health insurance, you may still qualify for free or reduced-price therapy. Ask your doctor, and look up psychological services in your area and inquire about low-income discounts.
• Is your birthday or anniversary coming up? If you can, let it be known to your friends and family that you wish to start a weight-loss fund. You may be able to collect enough money to join a health club for a few months, or to hire a personal trainer or wellness coach for a few sessions. If your loved ones are short on cash too, you may still be able to find enough to buy a few books that may inspire you.
• Are there unnecessary indulgences that you can give up for your new healthy lifestyle fund? Can you give up the extra cable TV box, or start collecting more grocery coupons, or give up the store-bought coffee to add a few more dollars to your coffers? Cutting out even $40 or $50 may be all you need to sign up for lessons or classes for a month.